A guy in a group posted an article about how spiritual a woman's breasts and hips were (i think the post was written by a woman). And many of the women in group had something negative to say about it (now I'm sure if a woman posted, it wouldn't have been met with such disdain, double standards and all that). Some women had points that I agreed with. Like, I see all of me as sacred, not just certain organs, but I understand the power of our hips and breasts, be it in a fertility way and sexual.
Many ancient figurines of females focus on breasts and hips, on gaping vaginas, too. Some would see that as sexualization, but I don't believe that that's how it was meant--especially if it's to be believed that some of these ancient societies were equal or matriarchies, or at least had a better view of women than we do now (and no it's not Christianity's fault, look at Ancient Greece). It was all about Fertility and Abundance, be it in procreation, farming, hunting, money. We're not too far removed that need. Look at the popularity of money spells. Even my UPG Holy Day the Vulvophoria, I use a Sheela na Gig figurine holding open her gaping vagina, to symbolize the harvest and abundance of many things my family needs until the next holy day.
Shit, look at men figurines, majority of the time, it's just a penis. Or a massive erection, as one may see with Satyr art. The Greek God Priapus is depicted with a massive dick. Again, fertility, strength, abundance. If you see sexualization with breasts and hips, surely one can see it with just a penis figurine. Men being cut down to just a dick.
We are animals, and like our cousins, we have been born with physical things to attract our mates. Just because we don't have flashy bright feathers, thick pointy antlers, red glowing butts, doesn't make us any different. Despite how one thinks, many to do dress to affect others. We dress for opinions, even if it's just our own. Most don't walk about naked, so we wear certain clothes, put on jewelry, ink up our flesh, get our nails and hair done. Even if it's for us, we still want it to look good, right? The Earth is an organ for procreation. Just because we think differently, doesn't mean that we lack that basic drive to procreate. We are organs for procreation, just as a bird, or fish, or a flower is. (speaking generally here, of course) That's science. We, as organisms, are meant to attract mates and procreate.
I don't look at Fertility Goddesses as sexualized images, I find beauty and power in them (especially as a plus sized woman myself). And perhaps it's because I am fertile and was able to have children. Not everyone is, therefore we'll hold different perspective regardless of what our bodies do and how one views them. And there's nothing wrong with that. However, it's what you do with that opinion that matters, like using it to belittle others. That ain't cool.
Pregnancy and childbirth are incredible things. Of course I understand the science behind it, but I still see them as spiritual, too. (Then again, science and magik go hand-in-hand for me.) It still blows my mind....like crocheting a blanket with yarn and a tool. You start with those two simple things, and end up with a beautiful piece meant to be decoration or for comfort. Of course a woman's body parts are going to be more of a focus than a penis. The penis just plants a seed, the womb and breasts do the rest.
Then there's our breasts. Some women are fortunate enough to produce milk. With my first two kids, I struggled to produce milk, and typically dried up within a week. It was awful. This baby, I was able to produce milk, and am coming up to 6 months of pumping. I'm very proud of that. My supply is beginning to taper off, but I'm still going to do it until my breasts stop.
But in those early difficult days, Hera came to me in Cow form, guiding and supporting me. Putting a lot of emphasis on the utter--the cow's and my chest utters. The importance of nourishment for my baby, from my breasts. Nourishment that man-made formula's can come close to, but not fully copy. Yes, the body changes after birth and the breasts will change more after breastfeeding. They'll become saggier, but it's more important that I feed my baby, then try to keep what's left of the perkiness of my boobs. Childbirth and genetics.
Pumping became a devotional task for Hera, and that really helped me to keep going, other than that formula is needlessly expensive and takes advantage of a lot of people. I have a picture of Her holding a calf hanging over my pump supplies. 6 months in and it's still a challenge. It still hurts. It's still exhausting, but I keep doing it for my baby, for my family, for Hera.
Look at the myth of Hera regarding the Milky Way and of lilies. One bite from baby Heracules and Her breasts sprayed milk and created our galaxy and earth's white lilies.
If many Old Wives Tales are to believed, breast milk is a powerful healer, too. I've read how some use it to treat ear infections, eye infections, skin rashes, and other aliments. Candles, soaps, bathbombs, and other health and beauty products can be made from human breast milk, and why not? I find it funny that so many are grossed out by human milk, but not cow or goat milk. How many women are pressured to produce, then shamed for it. Told to keep it covered and to hide their milk....because it's so inappropriate and gross.
Can't have it both ways, society.
However fertility isn't just in procreation, but in creation itself. In creativity. Fertile in mind and in spirit, not just in body. A point that many tend to miss or forget.
Fertility of the land for crops and hunting.
Fertility in your bank account and work ethic.
Male and female fertility. Penis', testicles, breasts, wombs, and vulvas. Simple things that represent creation.
Away from fertility, I see dancing as a type of magik. Dancing can evoke many emotions and have strong affects on people, be it seduction, inspiration, empowerment, healing, self love, etc.
I used to have a negative view of strippers--I used to see it as very degrading work, and for some it is, but they do what they do. But then, who's making bank nearly every night just by removing their clothes and shaking their hips? Who's the dumb one here? The horny customers with their lewd remarks or the women being natural and barely having to work for it? Sure there's a lot of negatives on both ends, but for many, there's a lot of positives too. That line of work definitely ain't for me, but I do respect the women who do it. I sure as hell couldn't.
Lately, I've been watching a lot of belly dancing videos (I love dance vids in general, from swing to popping), and as a bisexual woman myself, yes, even I get mesmerized by a woman's curves, by those shimmying breasts and shaking hips. It's very beautiful and sexy to me...and extremely empowering. "Sisterhood" comes to mind. I don't see objects, nor do I feel like one, and that matters more than another person negative opinions.
I was one of few women who posted a positive response to the article:
"I see all of me as sacred, but since I started belly dancing, I've seen the power my hips and breasts have over my husband. :-) How mesmerized he can get just with some simple serpentine movements, slow or fast. For me, it's been empowering in many ways, as I've struggled for years with weight and positive body image--I spent years covering myself up with thick heavy clothes and hunching. With hiding my femininity, largely due to a father who viewed women simply as breasts and vaginas--as servants there to serve and please men.
Now I don't. Dancing has healed my mind and confidence.
I have a healthy positive view of my body, and prefer to wear lighter, tighter clothing. I still dress modestly for the most part, but I'm more confident and more willing to wear clothes focusing my breasts and hips, because I actually love them now. As I work with the Nymphs, I've been focused on those areas of my body."
To each their own, of course.
As a fellow devotional dancer said, "One woman's oppression is another woman's empowerment. People should remember that." Vice versa, of course. A concept that many will see with modesty, veiling and headscarves. How some women is it forced and is it degrading, but for others they aren't forced--it's their choice. They find veiling as empowering, protective, and beautiful.
I see the spiritual and sexual power that my breasts and hips have over people, and myself. I dance for me and as devotion to Dionysus and the Nymphs. My body is a temple....I suppose my breasts and hips are the shrines, my uterus the working altar. :-D
We live in a society that pressures women to procreate, then shames them for how it changes their bodies. With a body naturally changed by procreation, I've come to accept and love my mom bod despite the judgments of society. Fuck them. I achieved this healthy state of mind through belly dancing, which focuses on the hips, butt, and breasts.
We live in a society that sexualizes us. Tells us how to look, what's pretty, what's not. Tells us how to feel, how to live. Teaches us that sexy is bad if you look a certain way, if you don't meet standards. Yet, with dancing, I see that's its not just limited to a specific body type or age. That various women--cis and not--fertile in body and not--young and old--thin and thick--they're all dancing. Feeling empowered and beautiful and putting their hips and stomachs and butts and breasts on display or making them more noticeable, even when covered by cloth. Enchanting the masses and feeling good.
I am more than my breasts and hips. All of me is sacred, but I am empowered by dancing, and by the effects that a bit of movement of these areas of my body has on others and on myself. It's so simple...yet so powerful. I will not be broken by the standards of others of how I should look, dress, and behave.
This is my experience and I am only speaking for myself. I can not, will not speak for you. Find what makes you love yourself. Find what heals you. What empowers you. Is it dancing? Modesty? Showing a bit of skin? None of the above? You do you.
I lived with an abusive POS who traumatized me and made me hate my femininity. A man who reduced me down to breasts and hips, to sex and procreation. Made me see those things as bad and disgusting. Made me loath myself. I abused myself through bad health, self harm, and cruel words. I hid myself from the world. I didn't want to be seen by anyone, especially not myself. Terrified to stand out.
But through dancing, I'm healing. I'm unlearning his beliefs. I'm discovering my power, my divine feminine. I'm loving myself, mentally and physically. My breasts and hips are no longer his weapons, but my power.
He is the weak and disgusting one.
I am strong and sacred.
_________
Workout Journal 3:
Belly Dance moves. Only today, I tried more tip toe movements, working on my balance. More Choo Choo Shimmies. More walking with hip flicks. I also worked on arm movements and neck slides.
I hope it stops raining so I can go to the park and jog later.
No luck with the rain. And because my husband went on a junkfood binge, there's not a lot of food for me to eat. So because I ate gluten and too many carbs today, I did 50 calf raises and 40 squats. I also practiced my balance by walking on my toes this evening.
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